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i used to have these recurring nightmares of dream paralysis last year around the time when my binge-eating was at its worst. last night, i had nearly a dozen of these dreams in the span of a half hour, none of them lasting for more than a minute, but terrifying nonetheless. in my dream, i am in my bed and my room looks as it does when i am trying to fall asleep. i am aware that i am dreaming, but i can’t move and i have to force myself to wake up, which is quite difficult and really scary. 

apparently these dreams mean you feel like you are losing control over some aspect of your life. i can’t tell if it’s my eating habits or my relationship with my boyfriend that is causing me to have these dreams, but something has to change. it’s hard though, because even though changing my eating habits is a struggle, it can be done, but my boyfriend and i may not ever be able to get over what happened. i wish things could go back to the way they were a year ago when we first met.